Standing in my tiny living room huddled up in front the of the fireplace trying to warm up my backside, I find myself moved with emotion as I reflect on the whirlwind 2018 was. Tears swelling just behind my eyes, a long exhales leaves my lips as a smile takes over my face. Even though from the outside looking in, my life appears to be a series of WTF moments, I know with every fibre of being that this is it, this is what I created … on purpose! I say on purpose because we are always creating the next moment, but so many are unaware that it is us. We are inundated with statements like “everything happens for reason”, “the universe has a plan” but I am telling you, that’s not exactly it love. I will get to that in a minute but first, let me share with you why 2018 hurt so bad for most of us.
Healing comes in waves, for if it hit us all at once, the strong ones would be too busy trying to save the drowning instead of themselves.
The first wave has hit my darlings. The first was for wave for the ladies, the divine feminine who have a calling and a significant purpose on this earth (gentlemen I will be with you shortly).
2018 was the year of shedding what no longer serves us. Actually, it was more like, we were ripped wide open, torn apart as our guts spilled across the floor leaving us empty, raw, naked and fully exposed. We were forced to question everything, our men and partners, our skills, our beliefs, absolutely everything about ourselves. We were forced to stand unprotected in our shadows, deal with past trauma from this life and the ones pervious. This time instead of being burned at the stake or drowned alive, we had everything ripped away from us forcing us to duck-ing reevaluate every detail of our lives. We had to endure, we had to discover, we had to shed.
As this energy finally begins to shift for us, April being the finale of the first wave, we are just starting to finally come up for air, beginning to trust men again, and seeing clearly what the next steps are.
December 2018 was the beginning of the second wave. This wave is for the men, the divine masculine who are ready to stand in their purpose. Let me explain this like this;
In my last week of being in Costa Rica, I took my crew to Tamarindo for the day. This is where the big waves are as well as the beach bars! Drinks, sun, sand and surfing, the perfect combination. Wearing only a string bikini drinking a combination of chiliguaro’s and tequila shots (yes I let Tequila Christine out to play, always an event) one of my #unicornsquad girls and I decided that a romp in the waves would be the perfect way to cool us down. Leaving the rest of the squad to watch our belongings at the bar we ran towards the ocean, sunglasses on and the sun kissing our skin. Running in towards the waves for several minutes, being far too busy laughing and chatting (as tequila will make you do), we both at the same time took note of the 10 foot wave that was about to crash on us. Never in my life I have been struck with the combination of wanting to panic but instead having a calm “so this is how I go” vibe run through my veins. I looked over at my girlfriend with my eyes wide open and then just surrendered. This wave first pushed my forward taking my sunglasses with it and turning me to face the shore just long enough to then send me through a series of somersaults all while bouncing me off the ocean floor. As I tumbled over and over again, my massive hair was being pulled one direction, my body the other and bikini bottoms being held on only by one foot. I figured if I was going to die, I was doing it with my bottoms on so I crossed my legs as hard as I could holding my bottoms around my ankle and then waited for my next opportunity to take a breath.
Like a rag doll I was thrown on shore. Without any control I began to laugh uncontrollably. Trying my best as I struggled to get my bottoms up over my expose lady bits, I looked back to see my friend trying to rise out of the chaos. She screamed,
“I lost my glasses” and busted into laughter.
I jumped up trying to catch my breath with my ass exposed to the crowd watching us. I began jumping up and down yelling “me to! and this!” pointing at my bottoms that still weren’t in place.
The realization of the total fear I had just experienced, not knowing what was next and being at full vulnerability to the oceans force, mixed with the thoughts of not dying ran through my mind. I turned to see if the rest of the crew had just witnessed what had happened, still jumping and laughing with my arms in the air. It was then, as saw the shocked looked on everyone's faces I noticed that my bikini top had fully shifted allowing both my tata’s to bounce freely as I jumped around. I looked down, laughing louder and threw my arms out to the side gesturing a giant “Oh well” to the crowd. All I could do was laugh and carry on with no flying ducks to give.
This year, felt the same. The sheer force of the waves, took me fully. It threw me in every direction, giving me only seconds to catch my breath. It tore away everything, leaving me naked with what appears to be nothing, bruised, fully vulnerable but ended with me jumping and throwing my hands in the air.
December 2018, the next wave hit, but this time I am on the shore cheering our men on. Please, remember how it felt trying to get through the wave. Darling, you are a pioneer, blazing the trail for the next group. Be patient and remember that as they attempt to come out the other side alive. The wave for us has finished and now we are learning to stand naked, in our truth, our desires, our knowing. As April approaches, the wave intensifies for them but this is when we finally feel like we are on solid ground.
Everything you have wanted babe, is happening. There was an original dream each one of us had. Now is the time. If you have done the work like many of us, you have had each fear surface and heal. If not, then consider sitting down with myself or another spiritual advisor and get some clarity on your next steps. The energy is prime for us right now, don’t let it pass you.
Here is the bad news;
The universe will not take care of you, and no sorry darling, everything doesn't happen for a reason. Everything that happens is because you decided to step into the ocean and be hit by the wave. You chose this, everything you are experiencing is the result of your creation. You can continue to place your power outside of yourself stating “the universe has my back” or “there’s a bigger plan above” but you will only delay yourself stepping into your soul’s desires.
We are literally swarmed with quotes that teach us that the universe has a plan. We are taught that what is meant for us, will not pass us by.
What if I could show you, how to be the universe, the creator of your world? If you knew that you could create every single desire, would you care that your tata’s were exposed after being knocked down? Or would you just laugh it off and carry on waiting to find laughter in the next moment?
We literally get so caught up in the small vulnerable moments, that we don’t see how we created the good and bad of the situation. However, once we do, we know exactly how to create more the good ones.
My biggest lesson from wave surfing is (besides I need a more swimsuit options), no matter what is happening around me, I chose this. I can choose again and again, I can learn how to conquer, I can literally surf through life instead of it knocking me down. What’s a little tumble when it ends with sheer laughter and delight?
Even better than that, there is no such thing as starting over. There is no such thing as getting it wrong. The original dream you had for your life, is the dream. You’ve wanted it long enough that you have began to manifest it. In order for it to fully come to fruition, you must heal any beliefs that are blocking it from you. You are creating the dream as much as you are creating the blockage.
Don’t give that power away to anyone or the universe blaming it by stating “in divine timing”. You are the divine. It’s your timing. You create your beliefs. If you believe in your dream, you create it. It’s that simple. If you believe in fears, such as “I am not worthy” then you create your dream just out of an arm's length reach. When you know you are worthy, it all comes together.
I have talked in my past blogs about “through you, with you, for you”. Allow the energy of the wave to flow through you, with you but most of all for you, for the dream that you have. The universe, it resides within you, within the frequency that are your beliefs. You are the creator, the world that moves around you, is for you. What do you want to create?
I have been working with clients all over the globe and watching them as they heal and create their dreams, and it all starts with learning to laugh after the wave knocks you down and then being prepared, knowing when the next wave hits so you can ride it.
Today as I stood warming myself up in front of the fireplace reflecting on my time here, I now know the cottage that I have called home for the past 4 and ½ months is ready to offer it’s healing shelter to someone new. I have been so blessed to have experienced the healing properties that the Dashta Centre’s property and it’s Airbnb cottage offer while we all went through the highs and lows of 2018, but like many things, my time here has come to an end.
Without knowing exactly what my next steps are that will lead me back to Costa Rica, or exactly when the wedding will be (yes I said that wink wink), I am just going to jump, but this time my wings are ready for flight.
I know where I am going, I know what I am creating, I know how it feels, the details don’t need to be mapped out. What fun would that be?
I’d love to hear what dreams you have.
Until next time.
Love you. Madly.
Christine
P.S. Here’s the link to my second favourite place on earth. The healing cottage. If you need a getaway, it’s loaded with Reiki and love. https://www.airbnb.ca/rooms/8305071?location=Kendal%2C%20Clarington%2C%20Ontario%2C%20Canada&adults=1&guests=1&check_in=2019-03-12&check_out=2019-03-16&s=AiPg6oPf
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